Alcohol addiction can cause many issues, not the least of which is intimacy in relationships. It can lead to divorces, breakups, and lost friendships. A partner’s excessive alcohol use can impair the feeling of closeness or familiarity, causing you to lose trust in the relationship.
Fortunately, there are solutions to these problems. Professional help can provide help and support for you and necessary treatment for your loved one.
The Impact of Alcohol on Relationships
Effects of alcohol use disorder (also known as alcoholism) on relationships include:
AUD can cause problems with consistency – individuals with an addiction may choose to drink rather than be with their loved ones, bringing about a loss of relationship stability. A person with AUD may lose sight of what is most important, including those closest to them. Because of this, the partner of a person wrestling with AUD may believe they can’t count on their loved one when they need them.
Alcohol is one of the most addictive drugs, and addiction can seriously change a person’s personality. They may be angry when intoxicated or experiencing withdrawal. All of these combined can lead to a total lack of respect and intimacy in the relationship.
A person with AUD can become unrecognizable from the person they were before they started drinking. They may become secretive and lie to their family about their actions.
Addiction can create financial issues, a common cause of strain for relationships. Depending on the person, AUD may cause overspending while under the influence, loss of income due to job loss, and medical expense from injuries sustained or treatment. Rebuilding this may be an important part of long-term sobriety.
How Does Alcohol Affect Communication and Trust?
While under the influence an individual might make impulsive decisions or say things they don’t mean, creating conflict and impairing trust.
Individuals with AUD often become secretive about their drinking, causing more loss of trust.
Alcohol magnifies existing emotions and may cause sudden outbursts and mood swings.
Intoxicated people may be less likely to hold themselves accountable for their actions or apologize.
Sexual intimacy can be affected due to impairment of arousal and communication about needs.
Over time, these concerns can take energy away from those in the relationship and make ordinary problems feel insurmountable.
Recognizing the Signs of Alcohol-Related Relationship Issues
Family functioning and drinking problems are firmly linked. Alcohol misuse can change relationships and adversely affect family functioning, but excessive drinking can also increase as a result of existing family problems. If you aren’t sure whether alcohol is causing issues in your relationship, here are some signs that may signal it’s time to seek help:
Even if you’ve had a strong connection to your partner, their feelings can be affected by a strong need to drink. If they’re using alcohol to self-medicate for mental illnesses like clinical depression, they may prioritize alcohol over tending to the needs of the relationship.
Your loved one turns into an entirely different person when drinking. They may become withdrawn, irritable, aggressive, and inappropriate in public.
An individual with AUD will typically lie or hide how much and how often they drink. Secrecy is a big red flag.
Drinking has become the focal point of every activity. They choose to drink instead of doing activities you used to enjoy together that may not have required alcohol.
When drinking causes memory loss, blackouts, or illness, it can impact intimate activities considerably. Alcohol use can drain the desire for sex and lead to sexual dysfunction.
Strategies for Addressing Alcohol and Relationship Issues
When alcohol has become an important part of your relationship, it can keep you from prioritizing your own health. You may slip into addictive behaviors of your own, or otherwise neglect the relationship. Here are some strategies to address or prevent alcohol problems in your relationship:
One of the best ways to prevent alcohol from ruining your relationship is to recognize the early signs and stages of AUD. Stopping drinking before it develops into addiction can prevent disastrous results.
In relationships with alcohol addiction, self-care tends to get thrown out the window. It’s important to help yourself first so that you can provide the best support for your partner. Keeping your distance in this way can prevent your loved one from influencing you to allow the addiction to continue.
Support groups help people with alcohol addiction and families of people with addiction. A 12-step support group is often able to help people recover from a codependent relationship. These groups provide a safe environment for individuals to speak about how alcohol has impacted their lives. It will also allow you to know what your partner needs at different stages, such as when writing their relapse prevention plan.
Partners of people with AUD can intervene by helping them find professional rehab services. Although convincing someone to get professional help is challenging, explaining how sobriety will improve their life may help them take the first step.
AUD is a serious disease. Professional help is the most effective way to battle the emotional, mental, physical, and social problems associated with AUD. There are several types of programs and levels of service to treat addiction. Your loved one can find one that fits their needs and lifestyle best.
During behavioral couples therapy, alcohol and relationship issues may be addressed by creating a daily “sobriety contract.” In this contract, the patient states their intent not to drink and the partner expresses their support for the patient’s work to stay sober. Overall, BCT teaches communication skills and helps encourage positive attitudes for the couple.
The Alcohol/Codependency Connection
Codependency is a behavioral and emotional condition that affects a person’s ability to have a healthy, mutually fulfilling relationship. Co-dependents try to take care of a person who is having difficulties, but it becomes compulsive. They may become emotional martyrs, or cover up the behavior of the person with addiction. These repeated rescue attempts allow the co-dependent person to become emotionally dependent on the person with AUD. This means that the person suffering from addiction is not being supported in their healing.
Are You Codependent?
Common signs of codependency include:
- A tendency to avoid conflict
- Taking on more than you can handle, to earn praise or help a loved one
- Apologizing or taking blame just to keep the peace
- Minimizing or ignoring your own desires
- Anxiety or guilt when doing something for your own benefit
- Doing something you don’t want to just to make others happy
- Extreme concern about a loved one’s behavior
- Making decisions for other people or trying to “manage” them
- Unhealthy dependence on relationships and willingness to do anything to hold onto one
- An extreme need for recognition and approval
- A feeling of guilt when you assert yourself
- A lack of trust in yourself and others
- A fear of rejection or being abandoned
- Issues with boundaries and intimacy
- Persistent anger
If you recognize yourself in some of these characteristics, or you’re not satisfied with your relationships or yourself, consider finding professional help. The first and most important step in changing unhealthy behavior is to identify it.
6 Ways to Support a Partner in Recovery
If you have a loved one working on sobriety, here are some ways to make the recovery journey easier for both of you:
- Work to have stamina and patience, as recovery has many highs and lows.
- Maintain a living space with no alcohol or drugs.
- Discover sober fun and activities
- Know and respect your partner’s triggers.
- Build healthy boundaries
Poor boundaries are often formed during active addiction. This is the time to become aware of any enabling behaviors on your part. With all the focus on your partner, it’s important to take care of yourself.
Moving Forward: Rebuilding Trust and Connection After Alcohol Misuse
You can rebuild a healthy and loving relationship after alcohol addiction. It will require strength and determination on the part of both partners. It will also require professional help. You can find the help you need at Magnolia City Detox in The Woodlands, TX. As the name implies, we provide a medically supervised detox program. This helps break the physical addiction safely and prepares your loved one for the important work of breaking the psychological addiction.
Following detox, we offer a unique level of care known as stabilization. During this period, individuals address any underlying conditions that might have contributed to their addiction. We also provide a residential treatment program ranging from 30 to 90 days. We will help your loved one create a program of therapy and activities designed to meet their specific needs.
Let Magnolia City Detox be your experienced guide on this difficult and important journey. Contact us today to learn more.
